I had a dream


Hi guys

I guess by now many of you will be aware that Hubby and i took a trip to the US..we planned this in January and decided after consults with the vet and boarding facility that the break would be positive for Doc so went ahead and took our trip.

I want people to know that we had insurance and were planning on cancelling after the bad news with Forrest and that we had a long tough time deciding what was best..you can imagine that while it was to be a secret this trip (as it involved a fellow blogger and was planned between us both as a double blog surprise) it was even harder to deal with Forrest’s loss as we had guilt about flying out of the country at this time.

Doc as it turned out had a ball in boarding..played with other pups made friends and had a careful eye on him as staff were aware he was grieving ..they reported he did great!

We asked them to arrange some playdates with suitable pups..see Forrest and Doc never did really enjoy other dogs..as much as we all talk on our blogs about our dogs we often have pups that would not like each other..que sera sera..so it was a plan to see if we could get him sociable and it worked..a real positive out of a real negative..

So amidst the grief we had the  sudden realisation that we had neglected to get ourselves ready for travel..we had so much to do and no desire to do it..we still wondered whether we should just change our plans as we had insurance to cover it and could go later..but the reality is we felt like fleeing..sounds awful but the daily reminders were so bad that we felt like running and never coming back.

We had all Docs special meals to make up for 11 days as we cannot afford to veer from his diet with his EPI..we had him get a check up on his mental and physical well being prior to leaving.

He was given the A+  as being fine for boarding..so we cooked and packed and froze all his meals..i did not pack a bag until the night before..as excited as i was i was still very much missing my boy..no sniffing my butt at every turn..no being rude for his meals..and still crying myself to sleep most nights..

So i will discuss our holiday later..show my pictures etc but for now i have something i want to share.

This is for anyone who is mourning their precious fur babe…

One night in Georgia i had a rough night..could not sleep..no matter what i did..and when i looked last at the clock in the hotel room it read 4.19am

I realised at the same time i had not thought of Forrest that day..i felt awful..then i must have fallen asleep..

My dream:

I am in a giant carpark..no idea where..it was night but not too dark..

I remember it felt like a mild night and i could see streetlights ..and i was alone..not at all afraid but very much alone.

I started calling Forrest.. like i used too..

” FORREST..FOZZIE BEAR…BOO BOO COME ON FOZZIE ..”

Next thing Forrest comes running at me full pelt..i can hear him barking but it was softly..so softly almost as if he had lost his voice..

He knocks me down..and i land gently on the ground..even though it is concrete..and he starts licking my face all over..he is licking like there is no tomorrow..

Normally when he would lick me he would sometimes have a little nibble..not hard not violent but enough to make me move my face from him a bit..

But not this ..just licking all over so furiously licking ..his face had no white..none just like when he was younger..and his tail was wagging like crazy..

I was holding him (another thing he was not keen on cuddles at all) and he kept licking..

I told him i loved him so much and missed him so badly..i am teary just typing this as it was intense..i asked him if he was angry with us ,did we do the wrong thing by him , and he just kept licking my face and wagging his tail..all the talking i had with him was done without speaking out loud if that makes sense..

I held him tight and did not want the moment to end..i asked him ‘please stay so Dad can see you are ok Fozzie please’..then i woke up…

It was 6.20am and i had to feel my face because i was sure it would be wet from the kisses..i cried my eyes out..i knew..i just knew he was ok..deep in the part of you that doubts..deep in that part that says out loud i know they are ok but quietly does not believe it..

I wanted Phil to wake up..i wanted him to know..

When he did wake up we sat outside the hotel..both in tears..both feeling that combination of love and grief..

I wanted to share this with you all..

I am crying again..but it’s ok..my boy is safe he is happy he is pain free and young again..and who knows when he may visit me next….

 

DSC_0057

Hugs Fozziemum

66 thoughts on “I had a dream

    • It made a profound difference to my grieving Annie..i felt like he was really fine absolutely without a doubt in a better place and healthy and free..i wanted him to stay so bad in that dream…but as much as i miss him i could not come close to giving him what he has now.. 🙂 ❤ thankyou my sweets xx

      Liked by 1 person

  1. It was a sign that he is with you… and that he wants to lick all the tears away… and I’m sure we can talk with out hearts too… and that’s the language no one can hear but the one we love will understand.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thankyou my friend..it was so real this dream so very real..his fur his kisses his smile and tail wagging..i am so lucky that i had this dream..this visit this reassurance..i miss him badly but i cannot be sad for him as i know without a doubt he took our love with him ..oh damn the leaky eyeballs ..again…xxx

      Like

  2. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I am still visited in my dreams just like you are by pets who have passed. Earlier this weeks I dreamed of a cat who passed maybe 10 years ago. Hugged her so hard, so happy by the visit.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh i am so glad you had a visit..i have only ever had one visit from one pet before..this makes this one so very special..and those hugs are wonderful aren’t they 🙂 thankyou my friend..we all love and miss our precious ones…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Totally awesome Bev!!! and it might have been an out-of-body experience even! Whether that or a dream; Fozzie Bear came to assure you he loves you & you did the right thing for him.
    Remember the 4 leggeds accept things a lot more readily than we do. It is us; the Humans left with worry, guilt, wondering…..we second guess ourselves. Now that Forrest has ‘visited’ you; it is time to let go of all negativity around his leaving & ACCEPT you & Phil did the roght thing for him. You’re the best 4 legged ‘Pawents’ ever! never doubr THAT>
    Sending you ❤ LOVE ❤ & gentle {{{{hugs}}}} of healing, Sherri-Ellen ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aww thankyou Sherri-Ellen..it was the most vivid and wonderful feeling..i have only ever had one dream about a much loved pet and it was not even ‘my’ heart boy it was Simba..he was here running around full tail and on that we bought the house as we knew he was already here..i could have held Forrest forever..and i know with all my heart and soul i could never give him what he has now..he is fine..just fine..despite my blubbering right now hahahaha 🙂 Loves Bev xxx ❤ ❤

      Like

  4. Bev……my dear sweet friend…..this is what our loved ones hope for when they pass – that someone on this side who meant the world to them will be “open” to a visit – to feeling the confirmation that they are happy, healthy again, young again and most of all still love us with every ounce of their soul. I’ve had this happen to me and I know that it’s a combination of happy and sad and so many other emotions. My Dad visited me regularly during the year after he died and still touches base with a vision of a smile or a soft touch on the shoulder…..Forrest connected and was HAPPY beyond belief to do so and let you know he is ALRIGHT. He’ll always be there if you need him………………forever your Fozzie.

    Love and Hugs, Pam

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh Pam i so agree..i am so happy your Dad visits you..i had a other friend tell me they cannot get through the noise of pain in your heart and mind..and i had no idea how i was supposed to let it go..but he was fine..better than fine he was a young and happy healthy boy..funny Phil had a dream before we left that he looked up and saw Forrest out the front looking away from him down the driveway..his fave spy spot..and he said he had no white and looked about 6..i guess we have both been very lucky to see him and i am so glad ..it was certainly a very intense visit and i hope he visits again..just for a cuddle and a sloppy kiss..huge hugs and love Bev xxx

      Liked by 1 person

    • Pix i have only dreamt once of Simba..of all our fur babes i have never had any other dreams or visits..this was so real..i hope Z cat visits..i really do..it was a blessing for us both..he’s ok..he’s just fine..it’s me that is struggling 🙂 i am sure you may see Z cat though..that is entirely possible ..huge hugs Bev ❤ ❤ xx

      Like

  5. Dear Bev,
    It’s a gift you are so deserving of.
    Forrest wanted you to have comfort and peace.
    I can only hope Cinnamon comes to visit.
    I hung her collar on my rear view mirror of the car.
    now she is with me wherever I go.
    Your post had me wiping my eyes.
    xo Linda and Jeff

    Liked by 1 person

    • Linda i feel so for you and Jeff..funny i was just looking for something in my files and saw the pizap pic i did for Forrest and Cinnamon! literally just before i jumped on here….a sign maybe…the timing too close to be coincidence..i know our babies are fine…i really know it now and i hope Cinnamon comes to visit…i really hope so my friend…Love Bev xxx

      Like

  6. That is such a great dream. It is so nice to remember our animals and all the good memories that come from them. I think about all my dogs, cats, horses etc. all the time. They are with us forever, no matter where they are.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It was a wonderful dream..and i know that he is fine..he would never allow us to hold him too close..but he did in this dream..they are always with us..a comforting thought indeed 🙂 xxx

      Like

  7. Personally, I loved this post! Like is too inadequate. That said, I cried too. So happy you chose to take your trip and just wish I could have seen you in person while you were here-course all of us feel that way. Taking care of Doc will require you and Phil to be 100% so that was impawtant to take the trip.

    Love and grief will go hand in hand where Forrest is concerned, there’s no escaping that. Your dream showed it is possible to know he’ll be ok and he’ll wait for you guys to lick your faces again. Hugs and puppy kisses from your fur-iends, ღonika & Sam.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Monika and Sam thankyou…we did need this..we needed to just let our brains drift ..Doc needed it too ..this dream made me see things in a very different light..i miss our old guy but he now is young happy and safe..we will meet again..and i will get those kisses too 🙂 Love and hugs Bev xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Bev

    I am glad you and Phil were able to get away, it was something you NEEDED, both of you; given the past year….and sure as I type this, the sheepies and the cats and doc AND FORREST said….please go, and HAVE FUN….sure it felt…..wrong, and sure you felt…guilty; you HAD to as that’s one of the stages OF grief, you HAD to feel it to get past it; does this make sense ? but you, phil and everyone are the better for having visited and no one faults you for it….NO ONE .

    and the dream; I wondered how long before forrest visited; dude was within one day; sauce; it took him a bit longer, but the message{s} are the same…..they are happy, healthy, whole, and just chillaxin best they know how, until we see them again…..I told you forrest was always going to be by your side; you might not “see” him, but he is THERE….I promise my friend; I promise ♥♥♥

    looking forward to the photos ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ hugs and loves

    laura

    p.s. and cry all you want; there’s no time line; and no rules; but your own ♥♥♥

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laura sweetie thankyou…yep we needed this and so did Doc..he was lost before we went away and to have playdates amd a different routine was great for him..i have only ever had one dream of Simba and no other fur kids ever..this visit was wonderful and yes we had to get past guilt and anger and all the other horrid stages ..but he came he really did..i felt so loved when he visited..and i know i just know that there is nothing here that can compare to what he now has..missed terribly but so very happy he is ‘home’…Love Bev xxx

      Like

  9. Oh Bev! I am so happy tht Fozzie Bear came to visit!! I love how he kissed away your tears….I often dream of Bob (Nellie’s hairy slobbery sister and my heart dog) and sometimes, I wake in the middle of the night because she is snoring so loudly. You are loved!
    Kisses
    Barb (Nellie’s Mommy)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Barb that is so wonderful for you too..the love we have just makes it so hard to let go..but i know he is fine..it was beautiful and heart warming in a sad way 🙂 i know Bob is with you..they all are ..loves Bev xx

      Like

  10. What a beautiful dream, Bev. It’s as though Forrest came to visit you, because he wanted you to know he loves you always, and that he is okay, and safe and happy. Love and hugs to you all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thankyou my friends i am sure he visited..it was too real and too intense to be anything else..i miss him so much but i know now he really is happy and still feels our love..love and hugs to you all too! xx

      Like

  11. What a beautiful dream. Don’t be surprised if he visits you when you are awake too. My cat visited me in my dream and I have seen signs of her that only I would recognize as being her. They always check in with us to say they are okay. ♥

    Liked by 1 person

    • Skyler sweetie thankyou..i am so glad i had my trip and even more so knowing Forrest was with us! I believe in my heart and soul he is happy and very much in a better place now 🙂 Loves Fozziemum xx

      Like

  12. Oh….I’m speechless at the beauty of this symbolism and eloquence. He spoke to you. Bathed your loving face with his gratitude of the lives you shared. Such beautiful words. Thank you. This is so comforting to me in ways I don’t understand. I wish I could reach out and hug you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thankyou my friend…it was a dream beyond all my dreams…he is happy..in a place we could never even hope to provide for him..a place that he took all our love to and is now in a state of perfection..to feel that his fears of cuddles are gone..his anxiety gone..just a doggie..enjoying doggie things..i am glad you got some comfort from this..i hoped by sharing that peeps who may be grieving could feel some consolation..i wish i could give you a big hug too..but just as Forrest licked away my tears i hope you feel the hugs from here…Loves Bev xx

      Like

    • Lavinia thankyou..it was wonderful..i have lost many pets and this is only the second time i have had a visit..i miss him like crazy but know he is safe and happy 🙂

      Like

    • I agree Layla..no time or space just in our lives always..it is a magical dream and indeed i knew he was really with me even in another country..i so glad you had a similar dream..proof of life…and those kisses and cuddles as real as i sit here now…xxx

      Like

  13. Oh Bev, I’m in tears just reading this. I can understand exactly how you feel, having lost furbabies in the past too. But when Daisy’s time comes it will be much, much worse, she is truly like our baby and we have grown so unbelievable close to her. I’m sure I will turn to you for advice! The boarding sounded like it was just what Doc needed to take him away from his sadness for a bit…kind of break the chain of pain. I hope your trip helped to some degree too. Hugs from all of us.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It was awful indeed my friend…i have mourned many pets and this was the worst..Forrest had been with me every day apart from the odd holiday for nearly 13 years..he and Doc who is nearly 14…it hit us like nothing we had been through…Doc had a great time in boarding..he got to be a doggie again..and we all had a break from the sadness…i hope you have a long time before you need to go through this…hugs to you all xxx

      Like

  14. He wanted you to know that he was fine, Fozziemum. He is with you even if you don’t see him *wipes tears away*. Thanks for sharing your dream 😉 Soft Pawkisses for a wonderful weekend 🙂 ❤

    Like

  15. Bev, that brings such tears to my eyes. What a blessing it is to have one of those dreams. I had one once, after our beloved Lab mix Maggie died tragically. She came to me in a dream when I was sleeping at her favorite place – our camp – and I got to hold her and feel her soft fur one more time. I will never forget how real it was.

    Like

  16. Sweet Bev, thank you for sharing your dream although it made me cry. I am so happy for you that sweet Forrest visited you in a dream and let you know that he is fine and gave you all those kisses. Love and hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Such a lovely, lovely dream and I am humbled by the fact that you chose to share it. I think it was Mark Twain who said that “if there are no dogs in heaven, I don’t want to go there”. In truth I think you were very blessed with your dream and I feel that someone wanted to bring you comfort and to illustrate “that now abide Faith, Hope and Love, and the greatest of these is Love”. Oh and by the way, Forrest is not gone – he is sleeping within your heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thankyou John..i felt humbled by this dream…i agree i want no part of a place without dogs 🙂 i have every faith now our boy is always with us..indeed in our hearts ..and i feel so lucky…:)

      Like

    • Amy thankyou..don’t cry…it was one of the most profound experiences i have ever had..i miss my boy so badly..so very badly..but there is nothing here that can compare to where he is now..he was so happy..so well..ugh..now i am crying again..us humans are hopeless..;) xxx Bev

      Liked by 1 person

  18. A lovely story. I didn´t read all the comments, so I may repeat same things as the others.
    I believe you really met Forrest that night. The loved ones stay with us, and they visit us because they tell us that everything is in order. We feel great sorrow and they will comfort us. I believe because when our Viiru had to go over The Bridge, I saw a dream that he said that he is coming back as soon as possible. After three weeks a young cat came to our yard and sraight to my lap.He stayed in our yard. We tried to find his home, but nobody missed and nobody knew him. So he came to our house and he is now our own cat, Kosmo. I am sure that he is Viiru, not same colours, but same routines that he does every day. Maybe I am crazy, but I am a happy crazy.

    Like

  19. What a beautiful vision, Bev. I’m so glad your beautiful boy was able to give you some comfort. I know how real this can be as I, too, have experienced it when in the throes of grief. Because I’ve fallen behind in reading your blog, I didn’t realize you were in Georgia. I wonder how close you came to my new home. Hugs and blessings to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Linda thankyou..it was a wonderful dream..i miss him terribly over 7 weeks and still the house is quiet..we had a lovely trip to Georgia and we may have been close! Who knows lol 🙂 hugs and love Bev xx

      Liked by 1 person

All your words are special so thankyou for leaving them

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s